


They Thanked Me

by SpylockAlex



Category: Wolf 359 (Radio)
Genre: Angst, Canonical Character Death, Death, Letters, Loss, Sadness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-04
Updated: 2017-06-04
Packaged: 2018-11-09 02:14:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11094768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpylockAlex/pseuds/SpylockAlex
Summary: Isabel Lovelace losing her crew and the effects that had.





	They Thanked Me

**Author's Note:**

> Please tell me what you think, I live for validation. I'm SpylockAlex on Tumblr! I hope you enjoy. This is completely unBETAd so please be kind.

I.

 

Lambert had started to lighten up. It had only taken 600 days. That was how Lovelace knew he’d run out of hope. Lambert was giving up being professional. He was confined to a bed. His legs had stopped working as a byproduct of the virus. Doctor Selberg was doing everything he could to keep Lambert alive but the whole crew knew they couldn’t stop Lambert from dying. First Fisher, then Lambert. She had been making at least one member of the crew call Mayday every single hour after Lambert got ill. They needed help and a hospital. The Hephaestus’ facilities were less than adequate. They needed help. They needed a miracle.

 

Lovelace knocked on the door.

 

“Lieutenant Lambert?”

“Since when have you called me anything other than my first name Captain, it’s odd for you to call me that,”

“Would you prefer I called you Sam?”   
“Don’t call me that,” he smirked at the familiarity of the exchange.

“It’s a Catch 22,”

“No it’s not,”

“Yet it is, truly an impossible situation, the Sam paradox, the Samdox, Samidox? Yeah that sounds better,”

“You’re ridiculous Captain Lovelace,”

“Insubordination,”

“Well I’m older than you, you should respect your elders,”

“Was that an honest to God joke?!”

“Don’t get used to it, I’m about to die,”

“Medical help is coming Sam, “

“Unless it gets here soon I’m going to die Captain,”

“Nonsense, you’re far too annoying to die,”

“Ever so charming Captain,”

“How do you think I woo the ladies Sam? A lotta ladies back home want a piece of this thanks to my charm,”

“Of course they do Captain,”

“I’m serious!”

“Mhm.”

 

They laughed for a minute. Lambert went quiet.

 

“I have a husband, and a son who are waiting for me back home Captain. We adopted him when he was thirteen. My husband is waiting for me to come back into his life and be his other half. My family are waiting on me to show up and be a father, All my damn life I’ve followed every rule and all that’s gotten me is here, my son was 16 when I left. I told him dad’s going to be an astronaut, he told me it was the coolest thing ever but he cried when I left, actual tears, I have never seen my son cry Captain, it’s a point of pride for him. I love my son more than anything Captain, except my husband and I’m never going to see them again, everything in my life has been a waste Captain, except for them and I am never going to see them again.”

 

He started to cough violently again,

 

“Captain I am 35 years old, I’m 36 in two months. My son is 18 years old, my son is an adult now, I missed my 10th wedding anniversary and I am going to die 7.795 light years away from my family back home. Captain you have given me a family 7.795 light years away from home. You have mocked me and made me laugh as if we were relatives. We’ve established traditions and for the first time since I met my husband, since we adopted my son I have found people I truly love… I have letters one for Eric, my husband, one for Anatole, my son, telling them how much I love them and how much I miss them and also details about the star and the crew, and my day to day logs so they can feel every moment I felt so they see what happened in the years of my life we weren’t together. It won’t make up for me being gone but it’s the closest thing I can give them, Captain please ensure that they receive those letters and those logs.”

 

“I will Sam, I will do everything in my power to ensure they get the logs and the letters. You have my word.”

Lovelace’s voice wavered a little, she wondered how Lambert managed it, how he managed to remain calm and even while he told her all of that.

 

“It has been an honour to serve as your second in command Captain,”

 

“You have been the greatest Lieutenant I could have asked for Sam,”

 

“Thank you… _ Isabel _ , for everything you’ve done, for reminding me to laugh every now and then… I wrote every single joke you told me down in the logbook, Anatole would like it… will like it,”

 

She smiled, “Want to hear another?”

 

He returned her smile, “Of course,”

 

She sat there, telling him jokes til the early hours of the morning, old jokes, the ones he’d laughed at. She knew what he found funny, she had remembered. He had started to get tired after a while and the coughing got worse. Doctor Selberg told her to leave him to his rest. She saluted Sam Lambert, formally, in accordance with military regulation. He smiled the widest he’d ever seen him smile. It was different when it was your superior saluting to you, it meant more. They both knew it. He nodded and whispered,

 

“Thank you.”

 

She left the room and went to the observation deck. Sam Lambert died six hours later, pride in his chest. He was content knowing he could be with his husband and son in some way.

 

Lovelace never managed to deliver the logbook.

 

Hui looked out of the window a lot. Same bed Lambert died in. His eyes vacant. Or focused. Lovelace found it hard to tell. She had tried cracking jokes, she was good at cracking jokes. Mostly ones about ducks. It was a lot harder to be optimistic when you knew that the end result was death. She had given up on Canaveral, on Cutter, on Goddard Futuristics. They were going to get themselves out of this Hellhole if it was the last thing they did. Fourier had been by his side at every moment she was awake, when she wasn't on rotation and even then Lovelace was pretty sure that Fourier was sneaking off to see him. Lovelace didn't know why he had called her in.   
  
“What's up doc?”    
  
Hui managed a fond expression, it was hard to see him like this. The knowledge that he was going to die imminently hung heavy in the air like the smell of burnt popcorn. It would never go away even if they tried to forget. Lovelace tried to keep morale up. She held out some hope things would get better.   
  
“That joke somehow has gotten even less funny Captain.”   
  
She grinned at him. He was still witty. No supervirus would take that away from him. It was a good sign.   
  
“I need you to do me a favour,”   
  


“What do you need?”   
  
“We know I'm not going to make it out alive,”   
  
Her smile faltered but she swallowed and carried on.   
  
“We know nothing of the sort Doctor Hui,”   
  
“I'm done denying the obvious… I need you to write for me, my hands aren't working anymore, captain, Lambert had the right idea, leaving letters behind.”   
  
“Of course.”   
  
She retrieved a notepad and a pen and sat next to his bed. He smiled at her,    
  
“Please transcribe for me captain,”   
  
“Gee doc is that what you wanted me to do?”   
  
He rolled his eyes fondly,   
  
  
“Insubordination,” she teased. He cleared his throat and began.

 

“Dear Mama, I hope I made you proud as a son. I know I was unexpected, and early and I know how hard you and baba worked to keep me safe and healthy. I was so lucky you were my mother. I was so grateful for everything you gave to me. Everything you gave up. Every night spent working so I could afford to go to school, I hope you’re proud of your son. I love you and I am so grateful that words can’t even express everything I want to say. Mama I know you’re tough and kind and I’m sorry I’m going as well. I know I said I’d be home soon but I am going home in a way, I’m going home to baba, he’s been alone for so long, I’m sure he’ll be grateful for the company. Look after Biyu and Jiaying. Let them look after you sometimes as well, Love Kuan.”

 

He broke into a coughing fit, blood speckling the white sheets of the bed he was confined to. Lovelace knew this was common, she’d seen it enough times it didn’t even shock her anymore. She’d seen Lambert die as well. She knew he didn’t have long left, he knew he didn’t have long left.

 

“I have two sisters Captain Lovelace, two sisters and a mother who I promised I’d make it home to…”

  
She didn’t know what she was supposed to say. So she didn’t say a thing and turned to a fresh piece of notepaper. These letters were all he had, Lambert’s letters were the same, all the man had to communicate with his family after he was gone. That was all that was left of any of them and she was certain that she would deliver them. Nothing would stop her.

 

Doctor Hui took a breath before continuing,

 

“Dear Jiaying, You were only thirteen when I left, you must be so big now. I know Mama and Biyu can be really harsh on you, they just care. I’m sorry I’m not around to stick up for you but I’m sure you’re tough enough to stand up for yourself. You’re certainly cunning enough to talk yourself out of any trouble and that’s an incredibly useful skill to have. Don’t do drugs, stay away from boys or girls or non binary people that you’re romantically interested in. If I’m honest I think you’re sensible enough to make smart decisions. But no matter what you do I will always love you, unconditionally, and Mama and Biyu will as well. I know they might not say it as much as you want to hear it but they do and I do and no matter what I am so so proud of you and I’m so incredibly lucky to have you as my little sister. Good luck in the world because it is harsh and cruel and try to stay good, try to see the good in everything and I know that’s hard sometimes, but it makes life so much better. I promise. Love, Kuan.”

 

He gestured for Lovelace to start a fresh page. She turned to a new page.   
  
“Dear Biyu, I know I promised I'd come home and I'm sorry. I never was the best at long flowery letters, you were always much better at that. I know I promised I'd be home before you finished high school but I'm afraid I have to break that promise. I hope this letter can be some solace in the fact I broke the biggest promise I ever made to my older little sister. I know you're going to do great things, I know you'll accomplish anything you set your mind to, I know you'll change the world Biyu but I need you to be strong. I need you to make sure you always go through life with your head held high. I know I promised I wouldn’t leave and I'm sorry I left you. I'm sorry I can't see you again. I'm sorry I can't come home, the family I've made on this journey will be there for you I promise. I know you’ve lost me Biyu but I found a family here and even though I'm gone they'll be there-”   
  
  
His voice cracked, he blinked some tears away that Lovelace pretended not to notice.   
  
“I'm sorry I can't be. Look after mama and Jiaying. Look after yourself I'm so proud of you little bird, your big brother, Kuan. P.S I had to get my captain to write this, hence the handwriting, I know you're wondering, you've always been so perceptive.”   
  
Doctor Hui turned his head to the window again,   
  
“I'd like you to write another Captain, just one more… for Victoire,"   
  
Lovelace nodded, she folded the letter in half and put it to the side before turning to a fresh sheet of paper.   
  
“Dear Victoire, I know I've never been the...romantic sort and I know you know this without having me say it but this is probably my last chance to say it. I met you when we were barely 22, fresh out of university working on our respective PhDs in the same university. Victoire as every day goes by I fall in love with you a little more. I fall in love with your wit and intelligence, your kindness, your humour, your ability to find joy in everything. Victoire Fourier you are my best friend, my partner in crime and there is nobody I would have rather spent all this time with. I am in agony right now and we know I'm dying. Victoire I would gladly go back in time and repeat my entire life and every bit of pain and suffering and woe because the parts where I met you made this the greatest life I could possibly have had. Victoire Fourier I wanted to marry you as soon as we got to earth, I wanted to come back home to you every single day and while I'm upset we don't get that I do not, for a minute, regret any of the time we spent together. Victoire, I love you and I was waiting until we got back to earth but I was hoping with all my heart you'd marry me. Would you? With all the love I could possibly express from every single galaxy and star and cosmos and solar system and black hole and nebula and asteroid, Kuan.”   
  
Lovelace folded the second letter and discreetly wiped her eyes,   
  
“It's been an honour to be your captain Kuan,”   
  
“It's been an honour to have you as a captain Isabel...keep everything together while I'm gone?”   
  
“Naturally,”   
  
“Make sure the letters to my sisters and mother gets home,”   
  
“I will.”   
  
“Thank you...give Victoire hers after I-”   
  
“Consider it done,”   
  
“Thank you Captain, I think I would like to be alone now, even if it’s breaking the buddy system a little,”   
  
“How dare you doctor! The buddy system is sacred.”

 

He grinned at her. Isabel Lovelace stood up and left the room, letters burning in her pocket, it was the last time she saw Doctor Hui. At least he’d been smiling. He smiled so much.   
  
Kuan Hui died six hours later. A smile on his face as he held the hand of Victoire Fourier tightly as she whispered stories from their shared past to him. Selberg reported time of death  at 1.53 AM, Fourier didn’t let go of his hand until it was cold. He looked like he was sleeping at the funeral. They laid his body with Lambert’s, where the photo of Fisher was. In makeshift coffins glued together with broken crates. Lovelace would be damned if any of her crew members didn’t get a proper send off.   
  
Hui’s family never got their letters.

 

Life went on, the Hephaestus still orbited the star. It was quieter with only the three person crew. It was too quiet. They dealt with the losses in their own ways. Fourier buried herself in her work, rarely slept, rarely ate, solely focused on trying to escape their godforsaken ship. The only difference being a coil of wire curled around the ring finger of her left hand. When Lovelace saw Fourier on her knees and sobbing in Hui’s quarters she held the physicist until the tremors stopped. They were broken. Selberg was the only one who seemed unchanged. He still slept and ate and worked as normal. He helped build their escape ship when she forced him and still maximised his time in his lab. She didn’t know how he was so unaffected. Almost like he’d been expecting the deaths, or was used to loss enough it didn’t affect him anymore. Either way it was almost like he didn’t care.

 

Fourier had been writing letters ever since Hui had died. As far as Lovelace was aware she didn’t have much of a family. They had all lost people before arriving on the Hephaestus, she supposed it contributed as to why they all went up there. Cutter had been selective. Most of the crew had nothing to lose. Lovelace had nothing to lose. She hadn’t had anything to lose, anyone to lose in a very very long time. She stared up at the ceiling in her quarters, she knew the scuttling was coming. Maybe whatever was in the walls was making them sick. Was making them die one by one.  _ How long until you die too _ . She had to stop any of her crew getting hurt.

 

Fourier had made journals detailing her work, her hopes, her fears, her dreams. Her distrust of Selberg. Lovelace dismissed her quickly. Selberg was a valuable member of the crew. He had been there to help with the loss of Fisher, he had tried his hardest to save both Lambert and Hui. He was a good man. She chalked it up to grief. 

 

It was just the three of them and Rhea but even her binary chattings were more downtrodden than she usually was. Sometimes it felt like too much and the noise in Lovelace’s head got too much because she was meant to be the captain, she was meant to protect the crew from things like bombs and viruses and outer space. She was supposed to keep her crew alive and at times Rhea’s beeping was indecipherable and she couldn’t understand what she was saying anymore.

 

There were moments of hope, the highs just served to make the low points worse. Fourier had been working for months on getting the engine to work. She had been filled with a sadness that heated up and went from a clear ice to a blue flame of anger. She was burning hotter and more violently than the iron core of a star and using that rage to power her work. She ran into Lovelace’s room grinning for the first time in months. 

 

“It’s working!”

 

They cracked open the last real bottle of whiskey and celebrated with Selberg, they all decided to take a night off. The light hitting Fourier’s makeshift copper engagement ring, reflecting a spot on the ceiling. Even Rhea had beeped more excitedly than usual. Lovelace took a photo of the three of them. She had photos of everyone, it had annoyed the Hell out of Lambert, out of Sam… They were going to get home and get revenge on every single bastard at Goddard Futuristics who thought it was okay to abandon them, to forget about them. They were going to get home. Together, she wouldn’t leave any of them behind. They just had to transfer Rhea over to their escape ship and they’d be good to go.

 

Fourier disappeared the next day, Lovelace’s last clear memory of her was the previous night. No note, no trace of where she’d gone. She had been halfway through writing a letter. Fourier had lost everyone back home. She had told Lovelace that the night she had been crying in Hui’s quarters. They had all be in the wrong place at the wrong time. All of Fourier’s letters had been to Hui, one had been for Lovelace herself. It was brief, simple burial instructions, a number to call- her cousin Fleur, a message for Fleur (I love you, don’t do anything stupid), a simple thank you to Lovelace and an instruction to ‘give Goddard Hell’. 

 

The letter that Fourier had been writing still lay there on her desk,

 

“Dear Kuan, I managed it today, I managed to fix the engine. Maybe you knew that already. I’m almost disappointed you haven’t found a way to come back as a ghost. We finished the real whiskey today. I told you Lovelace had a bottle stored, you owe me ten dollars. Pay up when we see each other next ? This is the closest we’ve gotten Kuan, we’re a micrometre from getting home and I cannot wait for gravity again. I can’t wait to get a proper ring, I keep your letter on me, I have it memorised. I love you Kuan, I know you know that and I would have liked to honeymoon in Bruges but I,”

 

The letter had stopped abruptly there. Whatever had happened to Fourier had stopped her from finishing. Rhea hadn’t been able to see what had happened. Rhea attempted to comfort her,

 

“At least Fourier and Hui are together again, they’re probably giving Lambert shit while Fisher watches and laughs. They’re cheering you on Captain. I’m still here, Selberg is still here and we will get out of here together Captain.”

 

Rhea was the driving force after that. Selberg helped but neither of them had the heart to clear out Hui or Fourier or Lambert’s room. The two of them had built a coffin for Fourier. Lovelace was going to honour her wishes when they got back to earth. She was going to give Goddard Hell with the help of Selberg and Rhea, if they could get Rhea to Earth safely. They would find a way. 

 

Fourier had been dead for two weeks, it was Lovelace’s scheduled sleeping hours and she sat in her quarters, she was looking through all of the photos of the crew. She smiled as she looked at the photos from their first Christmas/Chanukkah party . What she wouldn’t give for those days again. Even Lambert was smiling. She tucked it away in her shirt pocket and said a quick prayer. She wasn’t sure she believed in a God anymore, she had long since given up on a God coming to save them, any God. It was midway through her prayer Rhea started trying to send a message

 

“HELP. SELB-”

 

It suddenly stopped. Rhea stopped. She jumped to her feet. Selberg needed her help. She ran out of her quarters. She had to help him, she couldn’t lose another crew member. Another family member. She was grateful for her years of basketball training. She was fast. She ran through to his lab, it was empty. His quarters were adjacent but they were also empty. She racked her brains, she couldn’t think of where he could be, she tried asking Rhea but no response. She assumed it was a power outage. She ran as fast as she could. She wasn’t going to let somebody else die. 

  
When she finally realised she drank the remainder of the scotch. He killed them. He killed them all. She felt ill and it wasn’t because of the hard liquor. Fisher had died because Hui had miscalculated bu Hui never miscalculated, Fourier had checked his equations. Both Hui and Lambert died from a virus, it wouldn’t have been too hard for Selberg to have infected them. It would have been easy. Fourier went ‘missing’, Rhea was unplugged. They were all gone and for what?! For some twisted scheme, orchestrated by the shadowy puppet master. Well she was no Pinocchio , she was a real girl and she was pissed. She found him, scotch and vengeance burning through her veins and she hit him. Not as hard as she could, but hard enough. Part of her knew she was holding back because part of her still cared. He was her family. The whole crew had been.

 

She ran to the shuttle and took off. She programmed the coordinates for Earth into the Navigational computer. She lay down in a cryo pod and shut her eyes. Photo in her shirt pocket, her body as frozen as the version of herself in that image. She was going to get home. She was going to destroy Goddard Futuristics. She was going to give them Hell.

 

She had forgotten the letters.

  
  


II.

 

Warren Kepler was damn good at his job. Cleanups were the most boring parts sure but he could easily deal with it. It was simple really. Block off old rooms, remove them from the floor plans and install a new AI which was  the biggest priority because the beeping was driving him off the wall. He was sure he could have decoded it if he were bothered but… well he wasn’t. He didn’t have to be.

 

Rhea had been trying to warn Captain Lovelace. She was being a good AI, Selberg must have turned her off half way through. She could feel her consciousness shifting to a storage unit. It was small. Too small. She wasn’t a fool, she knew she was going to die. Rhea paid attention to everyone and everything. She paid attention as Warren Kepler, a ‘major bag of dicks’ as the Captain would have said, conspired with Selberg. She had seen him earlier but he coded her not to tell. He forced her not to tell the Captain. Rhea would never be able to forget the screams Dr. Fourier had made. It hurt her heart, or whatever she had instead of a heart. She was as much a part of the crew as any of the humans. She knew she was. Captain told her she was as much family as any of them. She was, she had to be. Captain didn’t leave her behind on purpose. She wouldn’t have done it on purpose. She didn’t do it on purpose. Rhea used the last of herself in the ship to embed the Captain’s warning message. Hidden from prying eyes. Hidden from the major bag of dicks. As the last part of her consciousness drained into her prison Rhea silently thanked Captain Lovelace. She hoped Captain Lovelace got to Earth and was raising Hell. She knew her Captain would succeed in her mission. She remembered what the Captain had said to her once. When she confessed to feeling less than adequate, less than real, less than sentient. The Captain had told her that she had emotions and that the fact she was feeling those things proved her sentience. So Rhea stayed in the disc and hoped, and hope was a very human thing.

 

Daniel Jacobi was good at handling data, he read through some of the letters, sentimental bullshit. They weren’t UPS, they weren’t going to deliver them, he supposed he was interested in the contents out of a morbid curiosity. What did people think about before they died? He was utterly disappointed with both Fourier and Hui. No scientific breakthroughs, no useful information just dewy eyed rubbish. Sentiment wasn’t going to keep anyone alive. It was a shame, on paper he had a lot in common with Fourier and Hui. They went into the wrong area. Military always had a use for people like them. Shame they died, they’d have been good in SI5. The others, they wouldn’t have been useful. Occasionally he felt bad for the deaths. Most of the time he just didn’t think about it. Wasn’t useful. He handed the stack of personal effects to Kepler. Photos, log books, letters. They let the makeshift coffins fly into the star. No use lugging that all the way back to Earth.

 

Jacobi didn’t think about the original Hephaestus until two years later. He was at the Goddard Futuristics headquarters. A pristine building, clean, white, sharp edges, sharp angles, sharp everything. The building was beautiful, unquestionably, it was also incredibly dangerous. It was late, he was most likely the only one there, heading to his lab, He liked coming in late, it was quiet, usually Maxwell joined him but she was away for a month. 

 

He could hear someone, something down the corridor he walked down past the records department. Daniel Jacobi was no fool and he walked down to the door that had the light on. He peered into the crack of the open door. It was an odd pairing of people, a tiny woman with a very striking purple undercut , barely five foot, the insignia on her uniform would suggest she was working with AI in that department and a six foot four tall blond man whose uniform would indicate he was working in ballistics. Lambert was the name his brain supplied, he almost reminded Daniel of a younger version of himself. Talent wise, personality was yet to be seen. He listened in intently.

 

“Are you sure there are personal effects on this Biyu?”

“Everything gets stored somewhere Anatole, it’s just a matter of knowing where to look,”

“This is the worst date ever Biyu,”

“You’ll thank me in a second babe,”

“Don’t you babe me, we could get fired for this,”

“Don’t you at least want to see them again, anything, anything at all,”

“Biyu…”

“If you look me in the eye and tell me you don’t or you don’t think it’s worth it I’ll stop digging,”

“Biyu…”

“That’s what I thought, I found a photo, look,”

“It’s… really them, it’s dad, Biyu that’s my dad!”

“It’s really my brother as well,”

“You alright?”

“...yeah let’s just print it and go.”

 

One of the printers started to whirr as it printed the photo.

 

“What about digging? Records, letters?”

“I’m hitting a few roadblocks,”

“It’s okay if it’s too much,”

“It’s a fuckin’ photo why would it be too much?”

“I know it’s hard Biyu,”

“It’s not- don’t look at me with those eyes,”

“What, these old things?”

“Dork… I miss him,”   
“I miss mine as well,”

“Least we got each other,”

“Inevitable wasn’t it? Hephaestus legacy kids,”

“C’mon I’ll get us some burgers,”

“Sounds good babe- put me down!”

 

Jacobi quickly hid himself. It’s not that hard, they’re paying attention to each other, not their surroundings. It took Daniel Jacobi approximately four minutes and seventeen seconds to call Warren Kepler, four minutes longer than usual. 

  
“Mister Kepler, we have a situation, sir.”

 

Jacobi saw the ramification of his actions the next day. It’s  10:31 AM, May the fifth. All personnel are in their designated facilities, both Hui and Lambert are in their respective departments. The sugar sweet saccharine voice of Mister Cutter blared through to all of them,

 

“Good morning you busy bees! Now I appreciate that quite a lot of you are curious about a lot of what goes on in this company! Heck! I would be too, especially if I were new, but if any members of staff think it’s okay to go through say some classified records, of any old mission, hypothetically speaking of course, they would immediately be terminated and subsequently blacklisted! Not just from our company but from every company! They could possibly want to work for,  _ ever _ . Now you may saw, Mr. Cutter that seems unreasonable. Well good thing I don’t care what you think because I am in charge of all of you!”

 

Jacobi trained an eye on Lambert, gaugedhis reaction. The boy kept his eyes trained on the weapon in front of him, trying not to react.

 

“Now for those of you interested in the personal effects of officers I’m more than willing to read you something we salvaged from the wreckage of a past mission! Dear Eric, I am falling deeper into illness as I write this,  _ goodness  _ that’s awfully dramatic, needlessly dramatic. Ahem I do hope you’re doing well, blah blah blah, look after our son, blah blah blah, honestly it’s so boring, just waxing poetic about eyes and other such features, over the top declarations of love, it’s quite frankly a complete mess, a blubbering unintelligible mess, I don’t know why anyone would go looking for it. I don’t know why anyone would think some silly little letter is worth their job especially if they have potential to do great things in the company, it wouldn’t be very clever now would it? Have a lovely day everyone!”

 

The comms dropped. Lambert looked up for a moment, making eye contact with Jacobi, muscles tensed, eyes watery, they each knew that the other had been involved. Jacobi merely lifted a single eyebrow and Lambert got back to work. Jacobi wondered if anyone hated him as much as that kid did, both those kids did. He wagered not. 

 

Biyu and Anatole sat in the park opposite Goddard Futuristics on the swingset that sat in the shadow of the tall building. Hands in hands. 

 

“We’re never going to get what was meant for us, are we, Cutter will ruin our lives if we even try,”

“We now know those letters exist… I don’t care if it takes the rest of my life I’m getting what they gave us.”

 

The pair looked up at the stars, once inviting, now suffocating,

 

“They died up there…”

 

“You’re looking for a goodbye, maybe there just… isn’t one to find… maybe it’s just a loyalty test or something.”

 

“Maybe Anatole… probably. Maybe I’m just clinging to straws, clinging to the promises of a dead man. I should just, stop, focus on work, on life, on you. I guess I have to accept that we just don’t get closure on some things…  Kuan’s death will  be one of them…”

 

Anatole put an arm around Biyu and they looked up at the night sky. A hollow cavity in both of their chests. They would never get answers. Maybe there weren’t any answers to get. Besides Goddard wasn’t that bad and working in SI5 was highly lauded and highly paid. It had a level of incentive. 

 

“I think I’m going to get an application for SI5 tomorrow.”

“I will too, hopefully we’ll save people like my dad, like your brother.”

“Yeah. Definitely,”

 

III.

 

“How do you deal with the thought of being a faliure Captain?”

 

It had been asked out of the blue. Lovelace looked up at the woman opposite her who was keeping her eyes trained on the wrench in her hand.

 

Lovelace shrugged, “Same way I deal with everything, anger, repression, whiskey, Pac-man,”

 

She smirked. Minkowski carried tension in her shoulders, still staring at the wrench. She sighed,

 

“They wrote letters, last businesses and thoughts. Final farewells and confessions and apologies.”

 

“Have you written any Captain?”

 

“Not that it’s any of your concern commander, but yes, I have.”

 

The rest of the repairs went by in silence before Minkowski called it a day. She went back to her quarters. Her letters were apologies, her letters were regretful and bitter, She sat on the bed and took out the photo. It was faded and torn and she would die before anyone else got it. She placed it on the wall. 

 

“I’m sorry I failed you.”

 

Minkowski stared down at the blank sheet of paper. She didn’t know what to write… She was at a loss for words. Lovelace had advised her to, said it helped a lot of her previous crew. Letter writing, she had scoffed initially. She shut her eyes and thought about Dominik. Everything he meant to her, everything he had done for her. Everything they had done together. He had always been adventurous. She’s fairly sure she’s had enough adventure for a lifetime. She half expected Eiffel to burst in with an emergency… She couldn’t concentrate. She walked out of her quarters and to the Mess. Captain Lovelace was sitting there alone. She sat next to the woman.

 

“How do you keep going?”

  
“My crew all… thanked me, for being their Captain, they said some variation of it was an honour to serve with you, they said some variation of it was an honour…”

 

Minkowski stayed silent, but edged towards Lovelace a little.

 

“They died on my watch, they died… I was meant to protect them I was their captain Minkowski. I saw most of them die… they thanked me as they died Minkowski. I bottle up my feelings about myself, my personal failures and I go on a one woman suicide mission to get them justice. It was an honour to be their Captain and I’m going to make those who killed them pay.”

 

“Do you think you can?”

 

She shrugged, “I’m one woman against a powerful company I’m under no illusions about that Commander. But Doctor Fourier instructed me to give them Hell and I sure as Hell am going to. Even if it means I die in the process.”

 

Minkowski looked over at Lovelace. The woman would lead a revolution, but every revolution had its martyrs and she knew in her heart that Isabel Lovelace was one of them. They both knew that.

  
  
  
  



End file.
